Upside to the Downturn

Submitted by Agnes Carson

January, 2010: a new page on the calendar of both a New Year and a new decade, with a blue moon on New Year’s Eve!

• What will it bring?
• What are you hopeful about?
• What are you glad to release or discard?
• What will you bring to light and to others the coming year?

For most of us, the start of a new year is a time of transition and reflection. I’ve always liked New Year’s Eve:

• crisp and exciting in the Northeast
• a feeling of renewed determination to meet the New Year ahead, full of promise, fresh ideas, and unmade plans.

This week I just happened to pick up a copy of a friend’s book, Moving On, by Sarah Ban Breathnach and noticed a line which has stayed with me since:

“Endings:  Every beginning has one, damn it.  And in between the endgame we never expected and the fresh start we never wanted lies a terrifying gap of uncertainty:  the Transition.”

This got me thinking about transitions and the things they bring out in us.  COURAGE was the first word that came to mind.  It’s interesting to find the word “rage” tucked inside it, plus the root “cour” which means “heart” and is central in the romance languages.   In my thinking, it does take significant courage to face and to feel everything a year presents to us:

• to experience grief
• to see one’s retirement income shrink
• to lose a job or a house, to face mortality and disease

…and in the midst of it all to continue to grow and love, to forgive, to have faith, and to share one’s gifts.

When the unexpected happens, when our worlds get turned upside down (whether a little or a lot), or when we are fearful of what might happen next, that’s when we need courage.  Courage helps us to accept our circumstances, to get going and stay motivated so we can do the required work, and to remain authentically ourselves as best as we can, until such time as we can see this time of transition as a gift and an opportunity.

This year I confess I have never been so glad to say goodbye to one year and open my life to the next. I’ve needed my fair share of courage this past year. In January, at the very start of 2009, my family was preparing for the first anniversary of the passing of my sister’s only daughter, my bright and beautiful godchild.  We’ll never stop hurting over her loss but I had been praying that we could soon begin to shift from a place of sheer heartache to a healing heart-space filled with wonderful, cherished memories.

While bracing for that particular time of transition, many new and unexpected events began to show up at my door like “uninvited guests” who decided to move in.  For starters, along with many other talented and hardworking colleagues at my workplace, I was faced with a downsize during the worst job market any of us have ever experienced. The blows to my personal and financial esteem were sizeable.

The next unwelcome visitor that showed up, following months of tests and surgeries:  breast cancer.  That really got my attention.  Enough, enough!  But soon after this came the sudden ending of a serious relationship I had come to cherish and had expected to count on for support while weathering these significant storms in my life.  I was told by friends, “You just faced the ‘trifecta’, and we don’t mean that in a good way.”  All I can say is that, for a while, it was like hurtling through the sky in a freefall without ever intending to jump out of a plane.

The love and patience that was showered on me during that time by so many different people got me thinking about how I, in turn, could be there for others in an authentic, heartfelt way. To me, this means refraining from empty platitudes, paying attention to others’ unique tempos, and not rushing them to get to a “better place” to accommodate my timetable.

Here’s what I did:

• After taking some time to deeply feel my hurt and my fear, I started to pray for guidance, then began to move, both inside and out.
• I volunteered to help others (offered my coaching, career planning, and resume writing skills to service men and women reentering the work place).
• I offered support to others facing the physical and emotional toll of disease
• I continued to sponsor a little boy in Ethiopia, and I created a new, supportive network for colleagues seeking their next career step.
• I have been especially energized by applying my corporate human resource experience and my skills in learning and developing new talents to join forces with Steve Goldberg and a group of other highly talented and committed individuals to help create an ongoing vision and plan for the evolution of the web project www.upsidetothedownturn.com.

In life, as we continue to move from where we are now to where we are going next, we have the opportunity to pause and view this unique point in time as a portal between what was, and what will be/become. Our moving can take many forms, including:

• physical (moving or exercise)
• emotional (letting go and welcoming the new)
• spiritual (coming to a deeper awareness and understanding), and
• utilizing our talents (recognizing them and using them well).

As we turn the current page, we can benefit from an intentional turn for a meaningful glance (or a penetrating stare) backwards, followed by a courageous step forward.

Dare I say it? 

Yes! With gratitude for all that I faced in 2009, “Bring it on, 2010!”