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People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle.
But I think the real miracle is
Not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.
Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize:
A blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child
Our own two eyes.
All is a miracle.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Vietnam born poet, author, and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh’s inspirational words speak directly to my heart. The above quote is one of my favorites for finding and maintaining an Upside perspective.
Being outside in nature allows me to be much more in touch with my own nature. Taking time to focus on the small miracles of life often shifts perspectives and priorities almost immediately for me.
I find it unsettling that more and more of us – especially children – are living lives deprived of nature. In The Last Child in the Woods, Richard Louv writes:
“The replacement of open meadows, woods and wetlands by manicured lawns, golf courses and housing developments has led us away from the natural world. Such antiseptic spaces provide little opportunity for exploration, imagination or peaceful contemplation”.
As the summer season begins to ebb, I invite you to take some quality time to be alone in a special, quiet place outdoors where you can enjoy the sunshine and simple miracles that are always available for our viewing and sensing pleasure.
P.S: An example of a simple miracle occurred when our Upside To the Downturn editor, Barbara Taylor opened her email while editing this column. She coincidently (?) received another powerful quote by Thich Nhat Hanh. Thought it was meant to be shared.
“Our true home is in the present moment.
To live in the present moment is a miracle…
The miracle is to walk on the green Earth in the present moment,
To appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.
Peace is all around us, in the world and in nature and within us…
in our bodies and our spirits.
Once we learn to touch this peace, we will be healed and transformed.
It is not a matter of faith; it is a matter of practice.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Questions:
- How often do you spend time alone outdoors in quiet places? Would it benefit you to do more of this?
- Does being outside in nature impact your mood or perspective? How?
- How often do you tune in to the potential of recognizing the miracles that surround you each and every day?
- If you do find solace in the special places and the states of mind that reveal the miracles of nature (including human nature), how might this be especially helpful to you in challenging times?
I would like to introduce Teresa, one of the newest members of the Upside community and our first representative of the Philippines. Welcome Teresa!
Teresa and Joh checking out the Upside to the Downturn website from across the globe
Continuing on the theme of Sharon’s column last week about our inherently human wish for “someone with skin on”, I’d like to share with you how Teresa and I recently met. It beautifully illustrates this week’s theme of reaching out and touching someone.
I returned a few days ago from a business trip and found that my home Internet connection was down. I was not a happy camper. I had a lot of work to do and was not up for the anticipated aggravation I imagined, i.e. spending a long time on the phone with my service provider and possibly some offshore customer service representative.
Much to my surprise, my call was almost immediately answered by a very friendly and welcoming female voice. I felt my insides relax, knowing that all would be well. The customer service rep did some internal checks and then patiently walked me through the necessary steps to restore my service. Much to my delight, things moved along quickly and efficiently.
While passing the time, I asked where she was located and how the local weather was. Based on the quality of our interaction, I assumed (which we all know is often not a good strategy) that she would be talking about another location in Canada, possibly not far from where I am located. She said she was in the Philippines and that her name was Teresa.
In order to fully figure out my connection problem, she requested that I give her remote access to my computer. I allowed this and found it an odd experience to watch the cursor move randomly around on my screen (while my hands were idle at my side).
When she was able to get the Internet working again, it defaulted to the Upside home page. I mentioned that this was the work I do and shared a sentence or two about the Upside goals and vision. There was silence at her end as she quickly read and absorbed the essence of the website. She then said: “This is beautiful and exactly what I need right now!”
We ended up talking a little about her life and aspirations and I reflected back to her my sense of the positive impression I had of her. She expressed gratitude for this unanticipated, personal time together on the telephone and promised to take a further look at the site and to consider writing something for the blog.
Much to my surprise, I awoke the next morning to her very beautiful and touching post, which in part reads:
“I think it was a coincidence that a person that I don’t even know would give me a way to learn to appreciate life more. I, we, here in the Philippines might not be that lucky to have all the things that other people have financially, but I think we are all the same and we have the same creator… I would say with this website I will learn more, that I can use the ideas and experiences others write about on this website. I guess what I will first start to do to maintain optimism in these times is to continue reading from this site; to learn, explore and communicate with different kinds of people having the same experiences and struggles that I’m going thru in life… Thank you to all. I hope I am very much welcomed here…”
I’m remembering an old AT&T advertisement that talked about subscribing to their long distance plan in order to “Reach Out and Touch Someone”. At the time, my associations about the ad campaign were simply about the telephone company making more money. I now realize how powerful and simple it can be to reach out and, in the immediacy of the moment, touch and be touched by a complete stranger in the most unexpected ways.
Thank you, Teresa, for turning a “business call” into an unanticipated, pleasant opportunity for us to meet and enrich each others’ day!
How about you: Are you ready to reach out and touch — or be touched by — someone you’ve never met?
Being touched by music
I want to introduce our 2nd guest contributor, friend and colleague Sharon Roberts. Sharon is a brilliant executive coach/public speaker and is passionate about the Upside message.
Please let us know at steve@2ndhalfmatters.com if you have Upside column ideas or would like to be a Guest Contributor.
Wishing you all a great week of experiencing the Upside,
…Steve
“I Want Somebody With Skin On”
By guest contributor Sharon Roberts
Lately I’ve often been reminded of the story of the little boy who woke up from a terrifying nightmare and cried out, “Mommy, Daddy I’m scared…I had a really bad dream!”
His father responds in a tired, sleepy voice, “Go back to sleep, it was just a dream.”
After a short pause, “But Daddy…I’m really, really scared and I want you to come in here and be with me.”
And in that dreaded you’re-a-big-boy-now tone of voice Mommy and Daddy tell him, “Just go back to sleep – God is with you.”
Just about the time they think he has drifted back to sleep, content that he has God on guard at his bedside, the little guy adds real texture to his plea, “I know God is with me – but I want somebody with skin on.”
Oh how I love the plain and simple honesty of this child! More than a time or two when our day has gone weird or life seems to have gone right off the rails, we can identify with this child, can’t we? When we’ve done it all: prayed, meditated, kept a stiff upper lip, let go, and hung on – what we want and need is “somebody with skin on” to comfort us.
My experience
A couple of years ago I was at a conference and was delighted to see a “somebody” who, 10 years before, had given me a complimentary note about how I had handled an important business event. I went over and thanked Travis for how much that detailed, encouraging note had meant to me through the years, especially in times of complicated circumstances.
He couldn’t believe I remembered the note and was floored that I carried it with me in my portfolio. At that point, the colleague standing next to Travis reached into his briefcase and pulled out a similar, well-worn note written by Travis.
Travis was clearly moved. When he finally found his voice, he stammered out, “I used to always write notes to people thanking them for what they did. I haven’t done that in a long time. I will start writing notes again…I didn’t know it mattered so much”.
We are all “somebodys.” Many of the somebodys in our own lives have no idea that the little things they’ve said or done made a difference at all. My sense is that, like Travis, it’s vitally important for them to know, so please tell them!
It’s reassuring for all of us to know that little things matter. We don’t have to be famous or appear on Oprah to make a powerful difference to those we care about. As Gladys Stern said, “Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.”
Click play below for your daily dose of feeling good (illustrating the sweet comfort of a hand to hold):
Reflecting on the Upside
Take a moment to think about all the “somebodys with skin on” who have been there for you when you needed help, whether you asked for it or admitted you were in need.
- What did they do: call you, email, or show up in person to cheer you up?
- Do you still have any mementos from those times, e.g. cards or notes?
- If so, have these been a source of inspiration for you over the years?
- Can you recall how it felt to be on the receiving end of their words or acts of kindness?
- Can you think of someone right now who still doesn’t know how much something they said or did, meant to you? Is there a way to let them know?
- Can you imagine ways to begin spending more time in “somebody mode” yourself, giving others the kind of feedback and support that means so much to you when you receive it?
Hello Everyone:
This week we are featuring our first guest contributor, a friend and colleague Barbara Taylor. Barbara has a great deal to share about the Upside. She has been doing a lot of behind the scenes work at Upside since our inception.
If you have a good idea for a column and/or would like to be a guest contributor, we would love to hear from you at: steve@2ndhalfmatters.com.
Have a great Upside week!!!
LOL: The Upside to Laughing Out Loud!
Submitted by Barbara Taylor
Who doesn’t love to laugh? We all look for opportunities to experience laughter: seeking out friends and romantic partners who make us laugh, exchanging jokes for the sake of a mutual good chuckle, and even buying tickets for social events that we know will entertain us. Who doesn’t love to feel good?
But did you know that laughter has practical benefits too? According to a recent article by Michael Gelb in Experience Life magazine, recent studies show that humor stimulates the parts of the brain involved in problem solving and information synthesis. When we activate these areas of the brain we become more creative and more effective at work!
In addition, the physical act of laughing has a powerful effect on our physiology, helping our bodies to suppress stress hormones and relieve tension, plus sending a surge of feel-good chemicals through our systems.
Humor and Creativity
Studies show that humor is directly linked to creativity. Think about how creative insights occur in your own life: you’re busy thinking about some familiar train of thought when suddenly your mind leaps to an unexpected idea and you make a surprising connection. “A-ha!” The same area of the brain is active when we find something funny.
In 2004, researchers led by psychologist William Kelley, PhD, asked participants to watch episodes of the sit-coms Seinfeld and The Simpsons while fMRI technology imaged their brain activity. Later, when researchers compared the brain scans with participants’ laugh tracks, they found that two seconds before they laughed at a joke (when their brains were presumably working to ‘get’ the joke), their posterior temporal lobes lit up – the same area of the brain that helps resolve incongruities and solve problems.
Other reasons to ‘get serious’ about laughing more
The following are highlights from other research cited in the article. What further evidence could you need to bring more laughter to your life, starting today?
- Author Paul McGhee reports on a survey of vice presidents and human resource directors from 100 large corporations: 84% of those surveyed agreed “employees with a sense of humor do a better job.” McGhee’s explanation: “People with a sense of humor tend to be more creative, less rigid, and more willing to consider and embrace new ideas and methods.”
- High school students who listened to a recording of a comedian before taking a standardized creativity test scored higher than the control group on all dimensions of the test.
- The area of the brain that helps produce and modulate the feel-good hormone dopamine lights up when we laugh and sends a wave of pleasurable feelings through our systems.
- Laughter also triggers the amygdala, the part of our neural reward circuitry that helps decode emotions.
- Studies have proven that laughter has an analgesic effect – especially for chronic pain from arthritis or neurological diseases – likely because it releases endorphins into the bloodstream.
- Laughter also eases muscle tension and has been shown to suppress the release of the stress hormone cortisol.
- Laughter boosts immunity, increases our heart rate, helps us breathe more deeply, and stretches many different muscles in our face and upper body – a kind of mini-workout!
Rx for contributing to the laughter of others:
Send us your favorite (clean) jokes!!
To get you started:
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
“What was the name of the Instructor?” asked the neighbor.
“Oh, ummmm, let’s see,” the old man pondered. “You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what’s that flower’s name?”
“A rose?” asked the neighbor.
“Yes, that’s it,” replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, “Hey, Rose, what’s the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?”
I had an important wake-up call this week. I was riding my bike home along a beautiful, forested trail when I met up with a bubbly, bright and very fit young woman who was also out on her bike. We soon struck up an animated conversation about life and its upsides, the power of optimism, and the beneficial effects of resilience…while I gave it my all to match her brisk pace (middle-aged pride, I couldn’t let her see my struggle to keep up).
A few seconds later, I heard and felt an audible snap. I looked down and realized my shoelace had caught itself between the chain and gears of my bike and was now severed. My spontaneous reaction is one that, in retrospect, startles me. I heard myself flip into something like: “Sh_t, where am I going to find another lace now? I can’t tie my shoe and I have a tennis match in less than an hour…”
Without breaking stride, my new friend Lisa quickly offered an upside perspective: “Steve, I know people who have flown off their bikes and landed on their heads from having something like this happen. You are very lucky!” I quickly recovered from my mini-rant and was quiet for a few moments, reflecting on how a born pessimist like myself needs to continuously work to nurture an optimistic perspective.
Lisa then mentioned that she is “often accused of being an optimist”. I was interested in her choice of words and asked her what she meant. She talked about growing up in rural Canada, where she experienced a simple, healthy, and enriched life surrounded by family and a community that modeled attitudes of gratitude and optimism.
Her own sense of personal optimism seems to have served her well. From what Lisa shared with me that day, she has excelled at most things she has taken on in her life including her current status as a doctoral student in a field she is passionate about.
Continuing along the sunlit path, our conversation then deepened as Lisa shared how people have often referred to her optimism as naivety and idealism, viewing her perspectives as more of a negative than a positive.
It saddened me to hear this. It’s true that optimism alone typically doesn’t solve problems. Rather, it is a state of mind that helps cultivate a fertile environment for change. Today, with all the challenges that confront us, it is needed more than ever.
Lisa helped me realize in a deeply poignant way that I personally have work to do in keeping up my everyday level of optimism. By extension, the Upside to the Downturn – this multifaceted vehicle I am deeply committed to – is a unique and rich forum to help restore a collective sense of optimism and promote its proper place as a realistic and positive force to inspire our thinking and actions.
Thanks Lisa! Keep shining your optimistic light…
Questions for reflection:
- Do you consider yourself to be an optimist, a pessimist or somewhere in-between? How easy is it for you to look for the “silver linings” in situations?
- Is your first reaction to challenging situations to focus on the negatives (like Steve’s was that day), or do you pause long enough to consider the presence of or potential for upsides?
- What adjustments in your life might help you to maintain an optimistic point of view more of the time?
- Are there ways you can think of for the Upside to the Downturn forum to promote optimism to a broader audience?
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