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e’re now six months into our Monday morning Starting Your Week on the Upside column and see this as the perfect time to ask you, our readers, for some feedback on how well we’re doing with getting your week started ‘on the Upside.’
Please click here to take the survey!
The survey is composed of open-ended questions on Starting Your Week on the Upside and the future Upside Life community. It’s completely anonymous and will take about 10 minutes, depending on how detailed your answers are – and all answers are most welcome! Your name will only appear if you choose to share it with us.
Thank you in advance for your candid feedback and continued support. Your feedback will definitely help to shape our future plans and programs.
We would appreciate you getting your responses back to us by Wednesday, November 4th.
Coming soon: We look forward to the upcoming launch of our new website, www.theupsidelife.com , as well as the publishing of our book early in the New Year.
Stay tuned for more information! Wishing you a wonderful week…
Steve Goldberg,
Founder
P.S.: Any questions, please feel free to email me directly at steve@2ndhalfmatters.com.
Submitted by Sharon Roberts
It’s happened to me again: a child teaching me a stunningly powerful lesson! I never would have imagined that a cute, little six-year-old would have the solution to a vexing business issue, but she did…and then some!
My granddaughter D’Arcy’s face lit up as she happily told me about all the great things going on in her first grade class this year, including her pleasure that her best friend was with her and her relief that another girl, who had bullied the other children last year, was not. Following her theme, I asked D’Arcy, “I wonder why it is that some children say and do mean and hurtful things to other children?” With a thoughtful look on her face, D’Arcy answered, “Maybe they don’t know about the bucket.” Noticing the perplexed look on my face, she inquired, “You don’t know about the bucket?” I confessed that I didn’t, but assured her that I really did want to know.
This was her passionate explanation: “Everyone has an invisible bucket and everyone needs to get their bucket filled up. You fill up their bucket when you say nice things to people and do nice things for them. And when you fill up their bucket, it fills up your bucket too!”
Talk about filling your bucket! Mine was spilling over like a waterfall at this point…
She then went on to explain that it’s very important to be sure that we are “bucket fillers”—every day—to the members of our family and to our friends and teachers. After a brief pause, a very concerned look came across her face as she continued, “You don’t want to be a bucket dipper and go dipping in people’s buckets! See, everyone has a dipper too and when you say or do mean and hurtful things, you’re dipping into their bucket and that empties out their bucket and makes them very sad and makes them feel bad. And when you dip into their bucket, it empties your bucket too and makes you feel sad too. So, you don’t want to be a bucket dipper! We want to be bucket fillers!”
A little while later, looking quite sad, she told me: “Sometimes I forget, and I’m a bucket dipper. But Asher (her eight-year-old brother) reminds me I was a bucket dipper. Then I apologize and that fills up his bucket and fills up my bucket too.”
I put my arms around her and hugged her close. D’Arcy had just shared a most powerful and beautiful lesson with me, one I was soon able to pass on to others at work. I was curious to know where she learned about the bucket and dipper and asked her. It turns out that the counselor at her school, Venesa Sokolovic, is sharing this powerful lesson with her students to help put an end to bullying in schools. And Venesa has this teaching available to her thanks to another amazing woman, Carol McCloud, who created a wonderful book for children entitled Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
Back to my vexing business issue…I had been searching and meditating for “that special something” that would sink into the hearts of the deeply divided executive team I was flying off to work with in just three days. I knew instantly that the bucket lesson was the very thing needed to help bridge the impasse. And, oh what a gift it was! The impact of the story on my clients was beyond the beyond. And it reportedly continues to ripple throughout the organization, including to family members. The CEO is thrilled with what is happening and so am I.
This is very impactful for me personally as I see evidence of bullying in so many organizations. Passionate counselors such as Venesa are helping to change this situation by reaching little ones early, helping them to understand that they are powerful in that they each contribute to creating a positive culture by making good choices in what they say and do with each interaction, every single day: Stop – Think – Choose. When they are having trouble choosing what to say or do, they are to ask themselves these questions: “Will this be good for them?” And, “Will it also be good for me?”
The Bucket Story exemplifies a simple, profound process that can work for anyone; at any age and in any setting. I shared with Venesa my outcome at work and she was completely overcome!
Epilogue
I was very curious about the full history behind the bucket story and thought that you might be too. Here is the rest of the story….
Carol McCloud, the woman who inspired Venesa, first heard the idea that a bucket symbolically represented a person’s self-concept—or mental and emotional health—at an early childhood conference in the 1990’s. It was Dr. Donald O. Clifton (1924-2003) who first created the “Dipper and Bucket” story in the 1960’s and it has been passed along ever since. Dr. Clifton later went on to co-author, with his grandson Tom Rath, the New York Times bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket? The children’s version of the book is entitled How Full Is Your Bucket? for Kids. Dr. Clifton was cited by the American Psychological Association as the Father of Strengths Psychology and the Grandfather of Positive Psychology.
What a gift to all of us!
So… how many buckets have you filled today?
Please use the link below share your thoughts with the Upside community.
And as a special bonus, here are few moments of beautiful words and music to help fill your bucket, so you can get out there and fill others’ buckets too!
What a Wonderful World
By Louis Armstrong
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They’re really saying I love you.
I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They’ll learn much more than I’ll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.
Submitted by Olga Dudek
“An elder pointing in the direction of my mom’s childhood home”
I recently returned from an amazing trip to Poland and the Ukraine. My mother, sister and I undertook an adventure of a lifetime: a return to our origins in search of a fuller understanding of our roots.
I now know much more about the story of our lineage. In 1941 — when my mother was eleven years old and her brother was nine — her parents decided to take action based on the circulating rumours of violence, imprisonment and the impending approach of the Nazi army. They gathered together a few of their meager possessions and make ready to leave everything else behind, with little idea about where they were headed and what they would face along the way.
Packing their belongings onto a horse-drawn cart, my mother’s family — along with her uncle’s family of four — said their heart-breaking goodbyes. My mother says she will remember forever the image of her grandparents standing at the gate; it was the last time she would ever see them.
During the family’s exodus they slept on barn floors and in damp forests, hearing the cries of wolves and often seeing their shiny, glassy eyes in the dark edges of the woods. Not far into their journey they were met by the retreating, Eastward-bound Russian army. The family’s horse and cart were taken from them and they were herded onto crowded platforms and crammed into trains with hundreds of other refugees. The trains would transport these displaced people — Russians and Jews — deep into the Ural Mountains, to faraway places in Russia that were previously unheard of and unimaginably cold. My mother’s family was eventually taken in by a Russian family living in a one-room home in a rural village. The climate was unforgiving but the people were hospitable and, for the next five years while the war lasted, they did whatever work was required of them to eke out a modest living.
During my time visiting with relatives in my mother’s homelands this fall I heard so many stories of survival: of hardships to overcome, of hunger, of not knowing where and how life would continue, and of lacking the proper clothing for the freezing weather in their new country.
Is it even possible, now, to fully comprehend living and surviving these kinds of hardships? For most of us in the western world, it is nearly unthinkable to consider facing such situations. Many parts of the globe still face dire circumstances such as hunger, violence, political turmoil, and the need to flee homes and communities. I think of the resilience, adaptability, hope and determination that is required, both in my mother’s childhood and today.
I’m still integrating all the events of our trip and the new insights into my history and my personality. Instead of focusing on the hardships and devastation of our past, I find myself thinking instead of the power and tenacity inherent in all people who live through such tough circumstances.
When I catch myself dwelling on a difficulty that I am currently faced with in my own life, I challenge myself to remember my mother’s story and place my situation in its proper perspective. While my own modern journey has its significant struggles, these seem to pale in comparison to what was asked of my family simply because they wanted to remain alive. While I’m not sure I could do what they did, I now know that I have what it takes to get through whatever confronts me in my own life.
Questions to Ponder
Since my return, I’ve been doing a fair amount of reflecting on how I interact with the world and my strategies for living a productive life. I’d like to share some of my questions with you, to facilitate your own exploration:
- In your own life, have you faced challenges that at first seemed overwhelming and then — once you began to deal with the situation and put things into perspective by considering the struggles of others — discovered that in fact you could resolve them?
- Has your personal and/or family history shaped your current thinking and behaviour patterns? As you reflect on this, do you think this family history has helped, or hindered you in your life?
We’d love to hear your comments.
Please use the link below share your thoughts with the Upside community.
Happy Thanksgiving Canada! For those in other parts in the world, Canada celebrates Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October. Unlike the American tradition of remembering pilgrims and settling in the New World, Canadians give thanks for a successful harvest.
The history of Thanksgiving in Canada goes back to an English explorer, Martin Frobisher, who had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. In the year 1578, he held a formal ceremony, in what is now called Newfoundland, to give thanks for surviving the long journey. This is considered the first Canadian Thanksgiving. Other settlers arrived and continued these ceremonies. He was later knighted and had an inlet of the Atlantic Ocean in northern Canada named after him – Frobisher Bay
One of the core Upside values is gratitude, and Thanksgiving, or any day for that matter, is a great opportunity to take time personally and with loved ones to reflect on our present lives and as well as our future hopes and dreams.
There is of course much that is wrong, challenging and difficult in our world today and it is easy to be consumed by it. At the same time there is much that is right. As I shared when I first introduced this column 6+ months ago, there have been some powerful individual shifts in many people as a result of our challenging economic times.
These shifts may be worth repeating:
Despite hardship, fear and worry about the future, a number of people report that their lives have also improved in some of the following ways:
- Spending more quality time with family and friends
- Becoming more resilient and re-prioritizing key aspects of their lives
- Reflecting on and shifting their core values, lifestyles and spending habits
- Reaching out and helping others, even when their personal financial situation is deteriorating
Reflecting on your own experience over the last year or so…
- How well does your life parallel the above observations?
- What things are you particularly grateful for?
Happy Thanksgiving and Gratitude Day to everyone….
As you may recall, a month or so ago we featured a few new “Upsiders”— Teresa and friends—who live and work in the Philippines.
Recent Flooding in the Philippines
Concerned about the torrential rains and flooding last week in Teresa’s country I sent out a note to her, hoping to connect with her and inquire about her welfare. She wrote back to say that she was okay, but that she is still stranded at her place of work due to the flooding surrounding her home community.
In her words:
“I have been borrowing clothes and things from my good colleagues here, since I have nothing to wear or things to use, but I’m coping and I know we can get through this storm.
It’s very heart warming to know that there are people who care and remember me. Thank You Steve, everyone is starting from scratch again. I’m so touched. I know the sun will shine and we can make it through this.”
I was moved by her response and Upside perspective. Realizing how much she and her friends appreciate knowing that others care, I thought it would be a good idea to dedicate this week’s column to those impacted by the recent typhoon and use this forum as a vehicle to expand this circle of care and concern.
An Invitation
Please join me in sending a brief note of encouragement to Teresa and the thousands of others in her country and the surrounding areas who are in the midst of the recent flooding.
Click here to add your words of support to our forum
Relief efforts: Additionally, we at Upside to the Downturn are making a targeted donation to UNICEF. You are welcome to join us in this endeavor, or to consider helping in whatever way is most appropriate for you.
http://www.unicef.org/emerg/index_51287.html
According to UNICEF, “A convergence of severe natural disasters has left millions of people in distress across Asia and the Pacific this week. Since 26 September, a total of six countries have been hit by flooding, a typhoon, a tsunami and earthquakes.”
“The wise person understands that his own happiness must
include the happiness of others.”
- Dennis Weaver
Meeting Teresa:
If you missed the earlier column featuring Teresa and her friends in the Philippines, you can find it here:
http://upsidetothedownturn.com/2009/08/23/reach-out-and-touch-someone
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